All right, question of the day. Mason writes, Uncle Gary, it's cold, it's dark, and my drive to work out is gone. How do you stay on track? Great one. First thing. Don't wait for motivation. Build a rhythm, your body can't ignore. I start with simple pushups. You can do them anywhere. No excuses. Five good reps. That's it. Most days, those five turn into 20, and before you know it, you're in the zone. Pair it with a non-negotiable time. For me, it's right after I brush my tee

Welcome back to Ask Uncle Gary. We've got a question from Nina in Colorado. My door squeaks every time I open it. Any quick fix? You bet. All you need is a little cooking spray. Hit the hinge with it for a second, smooth as butter.

I need your wisdom before I accidentally end up on an HR poster titled “What Not to Do at Work.”

I came across a line that stopped me cold: “You can silence fifty scholars with one fact, but you can’t silence one fool with fifty facts.”   - This quote’s authorship is uncertain. It captures the tragedy of our time perfectly. Because when critical thinking dies, collective foolishness fills the void. Everyone becomes an expert. Everyone is convinced they’re right, and everyone else, naturally, is wrong. Opinions drown out logic, emotions overrun evidence, and noise masque

Hey Uncle Gary, Quick question that’s been weighing on me.    I work at a retail shop in Downtown LA, and yesterday I heard ICE might be in the area. I don’t own the store, and I’m not involved in hiring, so I don’t know anyone’s legal status, and honestly, that’s not my business. But I care about my coworkers, and I’m trying to figure out what I’d do if ICE agents came in and started harassing people. Part of me wants to refuse service or ask them to leave, but I also know t

by Gary Domasin After reading Michael Slepian’s work on the psychology of secrecy, I’m left thinking less about the secrets themselves and more about the quiet damage they inflict. His book, The Secret Life of Secrets , doesn’t just catalog the kinds of things people hide-it explores what happens when we carry those hidden truths alone, and how that burden can quietly erode our health, happiness, and sense of connection. Slepian’s research is staggering in scope: 50,000 peopl

Dear Uncle Gary, I teach English at our community college, and once a month our department holds a meeting where we share updates, lesson ideas, student wins, and classroom challenges. It’s about 17 of us, including our department chair, Marisol, and the rest of the faculty. There’s a tradition at these meetings where we also share a few personal photos, something from our lives outside of school. Most people show vacation pics, family moments, hiking trails, or quirky hobbie

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m the only one in my friend group who doesn’t want kids. They treat me like I’m missing something. Am I? Signed, Missing Something Dear Missing Something, Let me tell you something that might surprise you. Not wanting kids isn’t a flaw. It’s a choice. And it’s one that deserves just as much respect as choosing to have them. You’re not missing anything. You’re opting out of something, and that’s a very different thing. Choosing not to have children doesn’t

Dear Uncle Gary, How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me, but still keeps their distance? Signed, Trying Dear Trying, Forgiveness is a door. Trust is the long walk back through it. When someone says they forgive you but still keeps their distance, it doesn’t mean they’re lying. It means they’re healing. Forgiveness is a gift they gave you. Trust is a gift you’ll have to earn. So here’s what you do, you show up. Not with grand gestures or guilt-soaked apol

Dear Uncle Gary, I just turned 40 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Is that normal, or am I just lost? Signed, Peter Pan Dear Peter Pan, First off, welcome to the club. Membership includes artists, accountants, baristas, and I know at least three retired dentists who still don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. You're not lost. You're just alive. Forty isn’t a deadline. It’s a checkpoint. I totally changed my life at forty. I’m in the process

Dear Uncle Gary, My husband told his family I was unfaithful, and now I feel exposed and ashamed. Can we rebuild trust after something like this, or do I need to accept that his loyalty to his family is greater than to us? Signed, The Cheater Dear “The Cheater, First, let’s strip away the label. You’re not a headline. You’re a human being who made a mistake, or maybe didn’t, depending on the full story, and now you’re standing in the wreckage wondering if anything can be rebu

Dear Uncle Gary, My dad keeps forwarding me articles about ‘the dangers of oat milk.’ Should I be worried, or just block him? Signed Milk Man Dear Milk Man, Look, your dad’s oat milk crusade isn’t really about oat milk. It’s about connection. It’s about trying to stay relevant in your life, even if the method is… well, alarmist dairy propaganda. So before you block him, maybe ask yourself: when’s the last time you two actually talked? Not texted. Not exchanged articles. Talke

Dear Uncle Gary, Is it weird that I enjoy eating dinner alone more than with friends? Signed, Recluse Dear Recluse, Not weird. Not even close. In fact, I’d argue it’s a sign of emotional maturity, and possibly excellent taste in dinner companions. There’s a quiet kind of magic in solo meals. You get to eat what you want, when you want, without negotiating over appetizers or pretending you’re fascinated by someone’s latest juice cleanse. You can savor the silence, binge a show

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m a sophomore at my dream university in Rhode Island, and I just pledged my dad’s old fraternity. He’s white, my mom’s Black, and growing up, I heard all his stories of brotherhood, campus life, the whole legacy, and I was excited to build my own version of that. So far, everyone’s been welcoming. But now and then, I hear things like, “You’re not like those other guys,” or “I think of you as one of us.” It’s subtle, but it stings. I know they mean it as a

Dear Uncle Gary, How do I stop doomscrolling without feeling like I’m missing the end of the world? Signed, Worried Scroller Dear Worried Scroller, First, let me assure you, if the world ends, someone will text you. Probably your cousin. Possibly in all caps. Now, about that doomscrolling. You’re not alone. The internet is a buffet of anxiety, and your brain keeps going back for seconds because it thinks it’s being helpful. “If I just read one more article, I’ll be prepared.”

Dear Uncle Gary, I recently spent the day with a longtime friend I hadn’t seen in over a year. We attended university together, and he and his wife have just retired to Palm Springs, where I live. What was meant to be a pleasant reunion, golf, lunch, and drinks, quickly became uncomfortable. My friend has developed an off-putting habit: constant eye rubbing, nose picking, wiping mucus on his shirt, and picking at his ears. It continued throughout the day, on the green and at

Dear Uncle Gary, I’ve been dating someone wonderful for about six months. We laugh a lot, the chemistry’s great, and I’m genuinely crazy about her. Lately, I’ve been wanting to go deeper, share more of myself, and learn more about her. But whenever I ask about her family or her past, she either changes the subject or says she doesn’t want to talk about it. At first, I chalked it up to privacy or timing, but it’s starting to feel... off. I even tried looking her up online. Not

Dear Uncle Gary, Our son is coming home from college, and he’s bringing someone he cares about, his boyfriend. We love our son deeply, but we’re struggling with how to handle this visit in a way that reflects both our Christian values and our desire to stay connected as a family. We’re unsure how to approach the conversation, especially around whether his boyfriend should stay in our home. How can we talk to our son honestly, without damaging our relationship? Signed, Good C

Take a moment and a deep breath. Look at your life right now. If nothing changes today, where will you be in ten years? Be honest with yourself. The words that follow are meant to be a wake-up call. You can either read them and be motivated to act, or you can scroll on and spend the next decade repeating the same year, over and over again. This past weekend, I saw a man spend ten minutes trying to get approval from someone who clearly didn't care. He kept seeking validation t

Dear Uncle Gary, My therapist fell asleep during our session. Do I bring it up, or just take the hint? Signed, Mr. Excitement Dear Mr. Excitement, Your therapist fell asleep during your session? That’s not just a red flag. It’s a whole damn parade! Now, you could let it slide. You could say, “Well, maybe I’m just too soothing,” and chalk it up to ambiance. But let’s be honest, if someone’s getting paid to listen to your deepest fears and they’re out cold like it’s a Sunday ma