Milk Man

Dear Uncle Gary,

My dad keeps forwarding me articles about ‘the dangers of oat milk.’ Should I be worried, or just block him?

Signed Milk Man

Dear Milk Man,

Look, your dad’s oat milk crusade isn’t really about oat milk. It’s about connection. It’s about trying to stay relevant in your life, even if the method is… well, alarmist dairy propaganda.

So before you block him, maybe ask yourself: when’s the last time you two actually talked? Not texted. Not exchanged articles. Talked.

Because sometimes people send links when they don’t know how to say, “I miss you,” or “I’m not sure where I fit in your world anymore.”

You don’t have to agree with him. You don’t even have to read the articles. But maybe you pick up the phone. Say, “Hey Dad, I got your oat milk thing. You doing okay?” And let the conversation go where it needs to.

Worst case, you get a lecture on emulsifiers. Best case, you get your dad back.

Best, Uncle Gary