Friends

Hey Uncle Gary,

I just started dating a man who has only a couple of close friends. My friends say it's a red flag. Should I be concerned that something is weird about him?

Signed, Concerned

Dear Concerned,

In a world obsessed with visibility, noise, and social currency, it is easy to misread a man with few friends. People often assume that a small circle signals loneliness, isolation, or a lack of social skills. But that assumption misses the truth entirely. A man who keeps his circle small is not waving a red flag; he is demonstrating a level of self-mastery that many spend their entire lives trying to achieve.

A man with a tight, selective group of friends is a man who knows himself. He understands that quality matters more than quantity. He is not swayed by crowd approval, nor is he driven by the need to be constantly surrounded by people. His confidence is internal, rooted in self-awareness rather than applause. He does not gather people for the sake of attention; he chooses relationships that align with his values, his ambitions, and his peace.

This kind of man is grounded. He is comfortable being alone because solitude is not a threat to him, it is a sanctuary. In quiet moments, he finds clarity. In privacy, he finds strength. He has taken the time to understand what drains him and what nourishes him. That understanding becomes a filter, one that determines who gets access to him and who does not.

He is selective with his energy, not because he is standoffish, but because he understands its value. He has worked hard to build a life that is stable, calm, and drama-free. Gossip does not interest him. Chaos does not tempt him. He has made peace a priority, and he protects it the way others guard their status or their image.

A man like this does not chase meaningless relationships to fill space. He does not cling to people out of insecurity or fear of being alone. He knows what he wants, and he refuses to waste time on what does not matter. His boundaries are firm, his standards are high, and his sense of self is intact.

So when you encounter a man with few friends or a very small circle, understand what you are looking at. This is not a man who has been left out. This is a man who has opted out—who has chosen depth over noise, intentional bonds over casual connections, and self-respect over constant validation.

It is not loneliness. It is discipline.

It is not isolation. It is self-mastery.

And men like that? They are the hardest ones to replace.

Let me know how it works out,

Uncle Gary