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Friends

Friends

Friends

Hey Uncle Gary, I just started dating a man who has only a couple of close friends. My friends say it's a red flag. Should I be concerned that something is weird about him? Signed, Concerned

Gary Domasin

Dec 11, 20252 min read

All Saints Pasadena

All Saints Pasadena

All Saints Pasadena

You are always welcome at All Saints Pasadena

Gary Domasin

Dec 9, 20250 min read

More Than Just a “Friend

More Than Just a “Friend

More Than Just a “Friend

Dear Uncle Gary, My stepmom keeps introducing my husband as my “friend.” Not once, not twice, every time . We’ve been married for over two years, and it’s not like she doesn’t know. She was at the wedding. She’s met his family. She’s seen the ring. At first, I brushed it off as forgetfulness or awkwardness, but now it feels intentional. Like she’s minimizing our relationship, or refusing to acknowledge it. It’s starting to feel disrespectful, not just to him, but to me as wel

Gary Domasin

Nov 8, 20252 min read

We recently talked about exploring our sexuality

We recently talked about exploring our sexuality

We recently talked about exploring our sexuality

Dear Uncle Gary, I (25F) love my boyfriend (27M). We recently talked about exploring our sexuality, including swinging or threesomes, and admitted we’re both bi-curious. I told him I’d support him if he wanted to explore, as long as it was safe and honest. The very next day, he met a man from an app and had sex. Afterwards, he told me he enjoyed it in the moment, but doesn’t want to do it again. He says it felt unnatural, he doesn’t think he’s bi, and he never wants to play w

Gary Domasin

Nov 7, 20252 min read

I’m a bottom

I’m a bottom

I’m a bottom

Dear Uncle Gary, I have a question that feels a little unusual, and I haven’t met anyone, or even heard of anyone, in quite the same situation. Is it normal for me not to orgasm during sex? I genuinely enjoy being intimate with men. I’m a bottom, and I feel confident in what I bring to the experience. The pleasure itself is wonderful, yet I’ve never had a partner who could make me ejaculate. With toys like Fleshlights or other masturbators, I have no problem reaching climax,

Gary Domasin

Nov 7, 20252 min read

Does anyone else feel this?

Does anyone else feel this?

Does anyone else feel this?

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m 59. A mother, a wife, a teacher. My life is steady, even lovely, two grown children finding their way, a marriage that still feels like home. I’ve lost people, yes. Parents. A sibling. But grief becomes a quiet companion at this age, doesn’t it? Today, though, today something cracked open. I was walking, nothing unusual, and the autumn leaves were turning gold, crimson, rust. And I just… cried. Not from sadness exactly. But from the sheer beauty of it. Fr

Gary Domasin

Oct 22, 20252 min read

How many of your married friends are happy?

How many of your married friends are happy?

How many of your married friends are happy?

Hey Uncle Gary, Out of all your married friends, how many would you say are genuinely thriving in their relationships, not just sticking it out, but actually happy and fulfilled? Signed, Curious George Hey Curious George, All of my married friends seem happy, but happiness isn’t a fixed state, and appearances don’t always tell the full story. Relationships ebb and flow. Even the strongest marriages go through seasons of joy, frustration, distance, and reconnection. If happin

Gary Domasin

Oct 20, 20251 min read

I want to trust him

I want to trust him

I want to trust him

Dear Uncle Gary, I’ve been dating my boyfriend (28M) for about a year. Things have mostly been good; we work out together, take little trips, and I’ve tried to be the supportive, non-controlling girlfriend, especially since he told me his ex was the opposite. Lately, he’s been spending more time at the gym, which I didn’t think much of. But a few days ago, while I was using his phone for music, I saw a message from his gym buddy. When I asked about it, he grabbed the phone

Gary Domasin

Oct 15, 20252 min read

Stuck but Steady

Stuck but Steady

Stuck but Steady

Dear Uncle Gary, My wife and I have a blended family with five kids. Before she passed, my late wife asked me to protect a portion of her medical settlement and savings for our son. I’ve honored that promise and continued saving for him separately. Now my current wife wants us to lay everything on the table, what each child has saved, and consider combining all funds to divide more evenly. I’m open to discussing what she and I have saved together, but I won’t include the m

Gary Domasin

Oct 15, 20252 min read

How do I tell this guy he gave me an STI?

How do I tell this guy he gave me an STI?

How do I tell this guy he gave me an STI?

Dear Uncle Gary, How do I tell this guy he gave me an STI? We haven’t spoken in about a month. I ghosted him. Over the weekend, I got tested because I thought I had a yeast infection. Turns out, it’s chlamydia. He’s the only person I’ve been with, so I’m certain it came from him. Now I need to tell him, but I have no idea how to break the silence and say, “Hey, you need to get tested.” What’s the best way to do this without it turning into a fight or a guilt trip? Signed,

Gary Domasin

Oct 15, 20251 min read

If women have the 6-6-6 checklist, what’s the male equivalent?

If women have the 6-6-6 checklist, what’s the male equivalent?

If women have the 6-6-6 checklist, what’s the male equivalent?

Uncle Gary, My wife hit me with a question that stopped me mid-sip: “If women have the 6-6-6 checklist, six feet tall, six-figure income, six-pack abs, what’s the male equivalent?” In other words, do men have their own shorthand fantasy for the kind of woman they want to date, something equally superficial, equally viral, equally absurd? Signed, My Wife Wants To Know Dear, My wife wants to know, Oh, absolutely. Men have their own version of the 6-6-6 fantasy; it’s just not as

Gary Domasin

Oct 12, 20252 min read

So I went on this date...

So I went on this date...

So I went on this date...

Hey Uncle Gary, So I went on this date. It was fun, he picked the spot, we had great convo, dinner was amazing. Afterward, we played pool at a bar around the corner, and he walked me back to my apartment. I kissed him goodnight. It felt sweet, like maybe the start of something. I was hoping I’d hear from him the next day… maybe a “had a great time, let’s do it again.” Instead? Boom. A Venmo request. Half the bill. I was honestly shocked. I always thought if a guy asks you out

Gary Domasin

Oct 6, 20252 min read

How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me?

How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me?

How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me?

Dear Uncle Gary, How do I rebuild trust with someone who says they forgive me, but still keeps their distance? Signed, Trying Dear Trying, Forgiveness is a door. Trust is the long walk back through it. When someone says they forgive you but still keeps their distance, it doesn’t mean they’re lying. It means they’re healing. Forgiveness is a gift they gave you. Trust is a gift you’ll have to earn. So here’s what you do, you show up. Not with grand gestures or guilt-soaked apol

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20251 min read

I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist

I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist

I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m 28, confident, successful, and, if I may say so, easy on the eyes. I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist. He’s gorgeous. Movie-star smile, strong hands, the kind of presence that makes you forget your mouth is full of cotton. I don’t know if he’s gay. His online footprint is all business degrees, credentials, and office hours. No personal clues, no social media breadcrumbs. But when I’m in the chair, I swear there’s something. He leans in close, so

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20252 min read

What do you do when someone fades out but never says goodbye?

What do you do when someone fades out but never says goodbye?

What do you do when someone fades out but never says goodbye?

Dear Uncle Gary, My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for almost six months. We’re both in our early 20s, still living at home, me juggling community college and a part-time job, him working full-time as a mechanic. Lately, something’s shifted. He’s distant. I still drop by after school, but when he’s home, he barely looks up from his phone. We talk, but he never wants to hang out. I figured maybe he was over it, and I started preparing myself to move on. Then his mom c

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20252 min read

Curious but Cautious

Curious but Cautious

Curious but Cautious

Dear Uncle Gary, I’ve been dating someone wonderful for about six months. We laugh a lot, the chemistry’s great, and I’m genuinely crazy about her. Lately, I’ve been wanting to go deeper, share more of myself, and learn more about her. But whenever I ask about her family or her past, she either changes the subject or says she doesn’t want to talk about it. At first, I chalked it up to privacy or timing, but it’s starting to feel... off. I even tried looking her up online. Not

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20252 min read

Soulmates

Soulmates

Soulmates

Dear Uncle Gary, I told my date I don’t believe in soulmates. She said, ‘That’s so sad.’ Is it? Signed, So Sad Dear So Sad, Not sad. Honest. Believing in soulmates is like believing your perfect pair of jeans is out there somewhere, waiting to hug your thighs and never betray you. It’s romantic, sure. But it’s also a little lazy. It assumes love is found, not built. What you said, I don’t believe in soulmates , isn’t a rejection of love. It’s a vote for choice, for effort, fo

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20251 min read

But I feel betrayed!

But I feel betrayed!

But I feel betrayed!

Dear Uncle Gary, My best friend just started dating my ex. They say it’s love, but I feel betrayed. Am I being petty, or do I have a right to be upset? Signed Betrayed Dear Betrayed, You’re not being petty. You’re being human. When someone close to you crosses into territory that used to be yours, especially emotionally intimate territory, it stirs things up. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong to feel what you feel. It means you’re alive. Now, let’s zoom out. The word “betrayed”

Gary Domasin

Sep 29, 20252 min read

I ghosted someone I genuinely liked

I ghosted someone I genuinely liked

I ghosted someone I genuinely liked

Dear Uncle Gary, I ghosted someone I genuinely liked because I panicked. Now they’re dating someone else, and I feel sick. Do I reach out or let it go? Signed, Kicking Myself Dear Kicking Myself, You ghosted someone you genuinely liked. Not because you didn’t care, but because something in you hit the panic button. That’s not a crime, it’s a moment. But moments have consequences, and now they’re with someone else. And you’re stuck in that aching space between “what was” and “

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20251 min read

Not Feeling it

Not Feeling it

Not Feeling it

Dear UncleGary, My best friend just confessed they’re in love with me. I love them too, but not like that. Do I tell the truth or let them believe there’s hope? Signed, Not Feeling it Dear Not Feeling It, First off, this is one of those moments that calls for courage. Not the loud kind, but the quiet kind, the kind that shows up when you look someone you care about in the eye and tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Because love, in any form, deserves honesty. It des

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20251 min read

Not emotionally, Sexually

Not emotionally, Sexually

Not emotionally, Sexually

Dear Uncle Gary, After seven years of monogamous bliss, my partner Mike, two years older, two inches taller, and apparently two egos too many, decided it was time to “open things up.” Not emotionally. Sexually. To other men. Now, I’ve always been a one-dish kind of diner. I don’t like to share my fries, let alone my boyfriend. But after weeks of pillow talk negotiations and a few glasses of wine, I agreed to try it. Spoiler: I did not love it. Mike, bless his biceps, is a big

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20252 min read

I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds since the pregnancy

I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds since the pregnancy

I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds since the pregnancy

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m five months postpartum with our second child, and I’ve been carrying around about 40 extra pounds from the pregnancy. Things have been tender and exhausting, and intimacy with my husband has all but disappeared. He never initiates anything anymore. The few times we’ve had sex since the baby came, it was because I initiated sex. This morning, something strange happened. A package arrived in the mail, no return address, just a plain brown envelope with gene

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20253 min read

I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade

I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade

I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade

Dear Uncle Gary, I’m a 65-year-old woman who’s been divorced for over a decade. I raised two kids, built a career, and now I’m retired with a little house, a garden I love, and more quiet than I know what to do with. Here’s the thing. I’m not lonely exactly, but I do miss being touched. Not just sex, though I wouldn’t say no to that either, but the little things. A hand on my back. Someone brushing hair out of my eyes. That feeling of being seen and wanted. I’ve tried dating

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20252 min read

My best friend just got engaged, and I am genuinely happy for her. But...

My best friend just got engaged, and I am genuinely happy for her. But...

My best friend just got engaged, and I am genuinely happy for her. But...

Dear Uncle Gary, My best friend just got engaged, and I am genuinely happy for her. But every time I hear her talk about the wedding, I feel this weird mix of joy and jealousy. I am single, I have not been on a real date in over a year, and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. I do not want to be bitter, but I also do not want to pretend I am not struggling. How do I show up for her without losing myself in the process? Signed, Third Wheel with a Smile. Dear Third

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20252 min read

Dear Uncle Gary, I recently started dating a guy who’s sweet, smart, and has the kind of jawline that could slice deli meat. But...

Dear Uncle Gary, I recently started dating a guy who’s sweet, smart, and has the kind of jawline that could slice deli meat. But...

Dear Uncle Gary, I recently started dating a guy who’s sweet, smart, and has the kind of jawline that could slice deli meat. But...

Dear Uncle Gary, I recently started dating a guy who’s sweet, smart, and has the kind of jawline that could slice deli meat. But here’s the thing: he claps when the plane lands. Every time. Loudly. With enthusiasm. I tried to ignore it, but last week he stood up and said, “Great job, Captain!” like we were at a Broadway curtain call. Is this a red flag, or am I just being petty? Signed, Turbulence in Aisle 3 Dear Turbulence, First of all, let’s take a moment to honor the jawl

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20252 min read

I'm recently out of a twelve-year relationship.

I'm recently out of a twelve-year relationship.

I'm recently out of a twelve-year relationship.

I'm recently out of a twelve-year relationship. I'm a fifty-five-year-old gay man, and I don't know where to start. I used to have a nice body. I think I'm still good-looking, but when I go out with friends, I never meet anyone. Everybody is so young. Signed, Need A Bear Hug Dear Need A Bear Hug, First of all, I’m going to gently suggest we retire that nickname. You’ve been through a twelve-year relationship, that’s a lifetime of shared routines, inside jokes, and probably a

Gary Domasin

Sep 28, 20252 min read

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