Ask Uncle Gary

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Eleven Months Later

Altadena, CA. Nearly a year after the Eaton Fire carved its way through the foothills, the town is still living in its shadow. Eleven months sounds like enough time for life to snap back into place, but for many families, the calendar doesn’t match reality. People are still scattered across borrowed bedrooms, spare couches, and motel rooms that were never meant to be home. Entire neighborhoods feel like they’re holding their breath.

Dec 30, 2025

How do I forgive someone who isn’t sorry?

Dear Uncle Gary, How do I forgive someone who isn’t sorry? Signed, Disappointed Dear Disappointed, Let me start here. Forgiveness is not a performance. It’s not a handshake, a ceremony, or a public declaration. It’s not about letting someone off the hook. It’s about letting yourself off the hook. When someone hurts you and never apologizes, it’s tempting to hold on to that pain like it’s proof. Proof that they were wrong. Proof that you were right. Proof that you’re still wai

Why Uncle Gary?

This picture means more to me than I can put into words. That’s my nephew, who we lost too soon, and my niece, who still lights up every room she walks into. They’re the reason Ask Uncle Gary exists. See, when you’ve been “Uncle Gary” long enough, you learn that advice isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about showing up. Listening. Offering a little perspective, maybe a laugh, and reminding folks they’re not alone in whatever they’re facing. Every time I sit down to wri